Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.
~ Herman Hesse
Let go of your past and theirs. The past is over and done, nothing we do changes what has happened. We definitely can learn from our mistakes and use the past as a guide for the future. But dwelling in the past prevents us from living fully.
Does it feel different to use the past as a take-home lesson than to use it to punish?